Straight Captain Holt | Brooklyn Nine-Nine | Comedy Bites

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    "That’s my favourite part of a woman. There’s nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis."
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    1. James Mack

      "My female wife"

    2. Avani Kaushik


    3. Ali Abdul Rehman

      Andre’s back must heart from carrying this show!

    4. Unintelligent Intellectual

      “I’m off.... to plow my mistress”

    5. kortneyd

      Straight holt kills me 😂😂😂😂

    6. MrNOOOOB11

      Solid evidence that Holt is on the down low from Kevin?

    7. Mayday Janette

      My favourite character is Holt's female wife, Crystal.

    8. Mitzi Lee

      Idk why, but watching this made me want to see how Holt met Kevin (I know they "met" over the phone, but I mean after). I could honestly watch a whole movie on them meeting and falling in love because I feel it would be so weirdly hilarious.

    9. korokfairy

      "You must be the toddler." Jake: nngh

    10. rasheequa davis

      “Wassup” 😎 😂😂

    11. KucklePuff

      A gay man is doing better of seducing women than most straight men.

    12. Raymond Chung

      The night before for what has happened lol

    13. Raymond Chung

      Damn his charm lol

    14. CallMeLum


    15. P Koya

      idk why but i loose it when he says "yea thanks man"

    16. Jade Nguyen

      3:04 Jake’s love for the MCU confirmed.

    17. FreedomFighterUnion

      “There is nothing more intoxicating than the clear absence of a penis...” As a straight man, I can confirm that this is true 🤣🤣🤣

    18. CoolTrainer: VaultBoy-39

      I just realized that despite Holt being gay, he is the straight man in this comedy!

      1. Justindor The Wonder Wizard

        Oh my lord

    19. Patrick Neal

      I'm still searching for the clip of holt from episode 22 of season 3 where he's discussing sex and the city with the security guard. Nowhere to be found.

    20. Ben Solo

      Heavy Breasts

    21. Mush Mello

      Why do they hate Florida again? I always think it looks really cool there (I‘m not american)

      1. Edgar Allan Poe

        I reside in Florida. Cool is the exact opposite of what Florida is. I mean that in the literal sense it's so freaking hot here it's ridiculous lol

    22. Jade Nguyen

      *Big ole sprangs*

    23. Jade Nguyen


    24. ELIHU G

      6:16 best quote 😂

    25. ELIHU G

      5:06 - 5:15 best part of the video In my opinion

    26. Thomas Lantigua

      Judge: Have a sit detective. Jake: I will not! 🤣🤣🤣

    27. Spartan Gaming 135

      “I’m off, to... plough my mistress”

    28. Sophia Rodriguez

      Jake’s face after Holt says “wassup” is everything! 😂😂😂

    29. Courtenay Maack

      Captain Holt trying to be straight is like me trying to be gay

    30. Royalty 300

      Don’t get me wrong, I love holt so much just the way he is, but I wish he was playing a straight guy all the time, cos he’s just so freakin’ funny😂

      1. Imaru Lewis

        But then he would just be normal. 'Straight' Holt is funny because as a gay man he doesnt really know what men find attractive about women so he's super awkward about it.

    31. alec christiaen

      "No, don't eat thz burrito." Not even what i'm here for but it always cracks me up

    32. Godnando Corpes

      "I'm off to plow my mistress" Bro...

    33. MR Farina

      I want wunch and holt to be friends again 😭😭

    34. babey ray

      he’s so bad at being straight hahaha

    35. ꧁༺Welsh Shelsh༻꧂

      h e a v y b r e a s t s

    36. Celine Natchio

      Holt obviously loves hEaVy BrEaStS

    37. Jodie Plews

      kevins rOSE SHEARING HAT

    38. AndrewBrewer917

      "I'm off to plow my mistress"

    39. Berra Saral

      "I'm gonna charm her" "Oh no"

    40. Queen _Tina

      “Heavy breast “ 😂😂😂

    41. TheMisterjaso

      Hey Bring it in?

    42. A loud Italian

      “My female wife” wtf

    43. Your joke are totally from the Internet

      Jake: Heterosexual of you are such a dog

    44. Anthony Moquena

      I love that his Impression of a straight man is like every other stereotypical gay man on TV where all he can talk about is sex, the fact that he is straight, and all the philandering he's been doing 😂

      1. Jade Nguyen

        CringeContent 2104 prove it.

      2. CringeContent 2104

        @Jade Nguyen yes, women are on the same level as men.

      3. CringeContent 2104

        @Reggae Marley so are women

      4. Jade Nguyen

        Mayday Janette you think most of us have outrun the stigma enough to be at the same level already?

      5. Mayday Janette

        Women are the same, we're just forced at a young age to not act on it, and everytime we do we are punished. I'm glad that more girls these days are more comfortable with their sexuality

    45. V. Joe

      Amy's reaction in the last scene LOL

    46. Ánh Nguyễn Ngọc

      me: sees thumbnail that says "nice heavy breasts" me: why thank you raymond

    47. Harby Andre Franco Fernandez


    48. Monique Star

      He's good at acting like he's failing to be a convincing straight guy

    49. bluesapphireymca

      That was the most sensual "What's up?" I've ever heard

    50. Notthefather

      😂😂 "my female wife"

    51. TimelordRock


    52. CrimsonZaimon

      "I'm gay" "Well then"

    53. Freddie Jo Henley

      Me pretending to be a cisgender female girl woman

    54. Allie Harmon

      The thumbnail lmao😂

    55. Steven Tapau

      "You gotta do what you gotta do, Captain Raymond Holt wassup" That shit had me blushing

    56. The Great one

      Captain Holt got game

    57. Eric Kruckenberg

      Who doesn't love *N I C E H E A V Y B R E A S T S*

    58. Obehi irabor

      Can it be gently nudged into hyperspeed

    59. RoadTo100subs

      Ah hello *g r o o t*

    60. William Wonka

      Damn he burned Kevin hardcore with that “rose shearing hat” bit

    61. JustPickAlready

      I mean it fuckin read "nice heavy breasts" in the thumbnail. I was obligated to click on it.

    62. Übermenschman

      LITERALLY searched for a compilation of this 2 weeks ago and was sad to see it didn't exist! They saw my pain!!

      1. Beats by Admiral Z

        Übermenschman Paaaaaaaiiiiiiinnnnn

    63. blaster23456

      Wow. What a convincingly straight man.

    64. Instructor Yazo

      Winged sluts.

    65. Mortimer Aeinhardt

      That last one isn't really about heterosexual Holt though. Still funny dow.

    66. WestNileSnipes

      I like how straight Holt constantly mentions his “female wife” and her “heavy breasts” 😆

    67. Lielee

      "...female woman..." He forgot 'girl'.

    68. aisha ä

      why did he say "philandering" like that I'M YELLING

    69. Rob Johnston

      Raymond: I’m off to *PLOW MY MISTRESS*

    70. shabri green

      4:39 - 4:41 😂😂😫